Little Burgundy Riding Hood
by Andrew Roach
Summary: Little Burgundy is a strange, unusual nine-year old. Grandmother is a criminal mastermind who has taken the dignity and lives of other people. What will happen when Little Burgundy makes her final stand?  A Little Red Riding Hood Parody


**Little Burgundy Riding Hood**

Little Burgundy Riding Hood sat uncomfortably in the soft red chair of her living room. It was Winter, and in order to keep warm, she had to remain in front of the crackling fire and wrapped tightly in her burgundy coat. Little Burgundy was an odd one. She kept her head in the shadows of her hood, leaving her face unseen. This made her appear mysterious, but truly, it was for the benefit of others. The reasons why, was only known by her. That way, she would be not made fun of, and the balance of sociality would stay normal. Little Burgundy was very aware when her telephone began ringing. She sighed and stretched out an arm with a large, drooping sleeve. Bringing the telephone to her ear, with a voice deeper than one would expect from a nine-year old girl, she answered; "Hello?'

It was her grandmother. The old woman started squawking in a raspy voice to the young child, though literally, no words were actually formed. "What are you doing?" Little Burgundy asked, irritated and confused. "I don't know…" Replied the old woman on the other end of the call. They exchanged words followed by some more strange noises, and finally, the conversation was ended by a - "I'll be on my way." from Little Burgundy's side. Little Burgundy hung up and picked up a picnic basket filled with a bunch of snacks that she had prepared weekly for her 'beloved' grandmother. She suited up some more with several more layers of burgundy coats and jackets and headed out the door into the frigid Winter weather. She began to feel a numb sensation and began breathing harder. Slowly becoming more exhausted with each breath.

Though her grandmother's house was within sight. That vision shot a surge of warmth from the determination that pumped through her veins. She started having more of a bounce in her step as she began to barrel her way through the snowstorm, her picnic basket in hand. Little Burgundy scrambled to the front step of her grandmother's residence, clamping her boots hard and repeatedly on the wood porch to release the snow from the structure of her footwear. She rang the doorbell and in a short waiting period, the door swung open. Little Burgundy dove into the warm building, absorbing the heat and found herself unable to prevent her from releasing an "Ooooh" of satisfaction. Finally Little Burgundy realized that it was rather peculiar that she was laying on her grandmother's floor.

Little Burgundy shot up, looking around and trying to spot her grandmother. She heard a click sound and heard wind rush past her. An instinct possessed her to do a matrix move, dodging three butcher knives that were sent whizzing across the room. Little Burgundy seemed not very shocked with the behavior that was taking place. "_Every time…Every time" _She thought to herself, annoyed. Though Little Burgundy had a surprise in store for her grandmother this time.

Finally, an evil looking old lady appeared and immediately, Little Burgundy opened up the basket. A gigantic cobra head shot out, hissing at the old lady. Little Burgundy pushed her hood off, revealing her dark secret. She was a young wolf. Her eyes were a light shade of yellow, her ears were like a wolf, along with her face, a nice layer of brown and black hair coating it. Along with the rest of her unexposed body. The Grandmother gaped, but was fast to react when the snake to a snap at her. It was capable of extending it's neck a long distance, but Grandmother was JUST out of reach. Grandmother swiftly did a ninja-like forward roll towards Little Burgundy, standing up into a battle stance. Little Burgundy did the same, finally ready to put a end to this madness once and for all.

Grandmother was first to attack, running at Little Burgundy with a blaze of anger in her eyes. She stuck her arm out, bracing herself to sweep Little Burgundy off her feet with a rough clothesline. Little Burgundy did a forward roll of her own, under the arm of her enemy. Though she figured out that that was a big mistake. When Little Burgundy stood up, she had her back to Grandmother. Grandmother clasped the back of Little Burgundy's head and slammed her down into the creaky wood floor. Little Burgundy groaned and rolled over, holding her head. Though she was far from done. Little Burgundy shot up like a rocket, charging her assailant. She slipped behind her swiftly and put her in an intense chokehold. Little Burgundy plan was finally coming into play. Prepared, she pulled a lighter out of the pocket of her burgundy coat and lit Grandmother's head on fire. She screamed in pain, feeling the fire burn her scalp. Little Burgundy began to light Grandmother multiple other times, until she became just a blob of fire. She did this while unnoticeably dragging Grandmother slowly towards the Snake head that hissed from the picnic basket. Begging and pleading for food. Little Burgundy smiled evilly and venomously. Ignoring the burn, she heaved Grandmother up onto her back fearlessly, ignoring the blood-curdling screams. She then tossed her right into the open snake mouth. One final scream of death rang throughout what felt like the Earth. Then, Grandmother had been defeated.

Little Burgundy gasped for air, rubbing the back of her head and looking at the hole in the floor her dense wolf head had made. She smiled, knowing she had won a fierce battle, that many of Grandmother's bully victims had fallen from. She watched with pleasure as the satisfied, over-sized snake sunk back into the picnic basket for a rest.


End file.
